Apparently one of the forum DBs got so damn large it crashed the table and broke alot of things..
i don't know how long its been broken but no one has apparently posted for a LOONG time.. maybe it was because it was broken, i rolled back to an VERY old backup, since no one had posted anyway. it didn't even fix it!
so i had to manually recreate the table empty, everything else seems ok now
any password changes or new users will have been lost
the webserver seems to be fully functional again, minecraft server is also still up on 1.14.2, but everythings been preeeetty quiet.. i haven't been playing or working on it myself either
hope everyone is doing alright